Haters Gonna Hate

Moving to Michigan was a big leap.
I left everything and everyone I was comfortable around to move to a new state and establish my own independent roots. Being in charge of my own destiny enthralled me.


Few saw this as courageous, most thought I was stupid.
The amount of negative comments and sneers I received continues to be unimaginable.

Crazy to think, the majority of the displeasure was from a lot of people who love me "unconditionally," (pretty sure "moving" is considered a "condition" but whatever). Though, many acquaintances, family- friends and my peers disapproved as well.

Should we go through my list of grievances?

I think so.

"Shelby. What'd we talk about. Move anywhere but Michigan. Don't go to Michigan. You go there and 10 years down the line when you're driving a mini-van full of kids you'll be sorry."

"Michigan? What's in Michigan?"

"When I landed in Michigan, I couldn't wait to leave."

"Why are you going to Michigan... Let me guess... a boy? I thought you were smarter than that."

"Ew. You're living in Detroit." 

                    *just to clarify - I do not live IN Detroit.*
                    *and secondly, why you gotta hate on Detroit so much people (well I know why but still)*

"She's making a mistake. She's trying to run away from her problems."

"I don't know why she's going. Don't worry, things won't work out and she'll come running home."

"Your parents paid for a college degree for you to go off and get married?"

                      *no one said I was getting married*

And my personal fave:
"How long do you think your boyfriend will let you freeload until he kicks you out."

Hearing all of these negative comments was disheartening.
I was sure that I needed to make a change, I just never thought that my decision would create so much gossip and negativity.
I can't help but think if I were a man making the same move if there would be so much disapproval. But that's the 'all-woman's-college-graduate' in me speaking.

In all honesty, as a woman moving to a new place (with a man as a motivator but not the sole reason) I'm considered pathetic, submissive and dependent. I condemn those ignorant opinions.

My younger brother told me during our drive from Connecticut to Michigan that he was proud of me.

He said he thinks I am brave. 

A million nasty comments were aimed at me, while I heard all of them, the only remark I choose to listen to was said by my 19- year old brother.

"Experienced" adults criticized and mocked me for my decision. Bear in mind, none of them ever left the North East.
That, my friends, is enough to convince me- I did the right thing.


Truth is, I decided to make a drastic change. A change that not many people think about doing in their lives.
I always had a sense of wanderlust. I crave new experiences, new people and a new setting. I find it exhilarating!
Of course, at the beginning, it is hard. I have nothing here; no job, no friends of my own, but in time they will come. 

Clearly, in a perfect world, I would have had a job that brought me to Michigan. Life would've been better for everyone and their mother- and me. BUT life isn't perfect, and neither are peoples lives. 

In the end, it comes down to doing whatever makes me happy. At the end of the day, after watching every reality TV show, crazily pinning on Pinterest, sending out more applications and cooking some grub, I'm the one who has to look myself in the mirror and deal with my decisions. 

And you know what- I'm very happy with the choices I've made and where I am.

But finally: 

 Everyone knows it, but sometimes we all need a little reminder to forget the haters and move on with our own feats of happiness. 

One Can Be The Loneliest Number

Leaving Connecticut was easy.

Leaving the people was not.
I was rich with friends. Honestly, I think being rich with friends is better than actually having an outrageous bank account balance.

It is really bittersweet for me to see pictures of my friends and family enjoying familiar places.
I mean I still have to use Google Maps to get me places... nothing here is familiar.

I consider myself an implant. Though I have met a lot of new people (all friends of my boyfriend) and have gotten along well with them, they have their own lives, jobs and commitments.

I, on the other hand, have a free agenda. My only obligations are watching my DVR'ed shows in a timely fashion and making sure I get out of bed.

Let me tell you, friends are a luxury. Being able to call them up or visit them at a moments notice is not something that should be taken for granted. One of the main lessons I've learned from my relocation is to truly appreciate my friends and the convenient hangouts we used to have.

Instead of a 5- minute drive, I now am faced with an 11- hour haul. Not something that can be undertaken at the drop of a hat.

I was at a local DSW last week and struck up a conversation with a woman my age... The whole time we conversed (which was probably under 3 minutes) I kept thinking of how I could organically slip her my number... I'm borderline desperate. I won't even mention that time I almost tried to find friends on Craigslist... that would just be crazy...

So yeah. I need to make friends and socialize in a way that is acceptable and not creepy. Somehow I have to be proactive and try and meet some friends. Because being poor in both employment and in friends really blows.

I will get back to you on the "Friend" progress, because basically I am the female Paul Rudd from "I Love You Man."

If some of you don't recall that movie, go watch it. It's definitely worth 90 minutes of your life.
AND most importantly call up/ go visit/ text your friends and let them know you appreciate them.

The Fat Squirrel

In the abundance of spare time I have (in between job searches) I have noticed a lot of things about my new surroundings.

I live in this nice little neighborhood- which is unusual because Michigan is comprised of a lot of subdivisions instead of neighborhoods.

When I sit on the couch drinking my coffee, watching my new favorite show (Dating Naked... seriously check it out it's amazingly terrible) I often find myself gazing out the window.
Aside from the occasional dog walker, UPS delivery, duck or deer, my favorite visitor to observe is The Fat Squirrel. 

The Fat Squirrel is, basically, Fairview Court's Chupacabra. 

Every other squirrel in the neighborhood is dwarfed and emaciated. I'm not even kidding... The Fat Squirrel will hoard nuts and have a speedy feast. I'm pretty sure he starves out and rules over all the tiny starving squirrels. 

Seeing The Fat Squirrel and observing his behaviors truly makes my day (pathetic right?) But that leads me to the conclusion that "the little things" are what keep us going.

Like one time (this morning) I saw one of the baby minion squirrels was chasing The Fat Squirrel!! IT WAS LIKE I WAS WATCHING ANARCHY! A tiny squirrel revolt.

Problem was, I don't know who I was rooting for. It was all so exciting.

Somehow the teeny squirrel chased The Fat Squirrel all the way into the road! 

AND THEN A CAR WAS COMING! 

I don't think you understand how intense this situation was, it was like a little animal action movie. Best part was I even got to watch this from my bedroom window. Ahh the luxuries of life. 

Thankfully, The Fat Squirrel maneuvered (somehow) out of the cars death path and escaped. Free to roam, hoard nuts and rule another day. 

As I continue to job search, I will stand vigilant and wait to sight The Fat Squirrel, once more. 

The Naive Connecticuter

Hello participants of the interwebz,
If you have happened upon my blog, welcome and congratulations for finding something so small and taking a chance to peer into my life. Naturally, being an unemployed English major, starting a blog about my trials and tribulations just makes sense.

So the sitch is, I'm a recent college- grad, I missed my graduation to go to an internship in France at the Cannes Film Festival (well worth it let me tell you), and now I just relocated to a new state, in a new region of the country to start my life.
I was born, raised and went to college in the lovely, quaint, white privileged state of Connecticut.  After 22 years of living in this Northeastern State, I felt it was time for a change. Where I was to go was up for grabs (originally). In the end, Michigan was set to be my new home.

Some of you (if you're still reading) may ask- "Why Michigan?"
Well, I have an answer that may upset you or make you laugh, I moved for a boy. Typical right? Girl meets boy... girl and boy fall in love... boy moves away... girl follows (not immediately, c'mon I'm not that pathetic).

Now, in a perfect world, I would have moved to a place where I had a job opportunity BUT, in all my infinite wisdom I figured everything would take it's course and I would move to Michigan and be accessible to the bountiful job interviews that were sure to come my way. I blame/thank my 22 year old naive brain for that "logic."

On July 10, at 3am, I sat in the drivers seat of my jam- packed Tiger Striped Kia Soul, with both my 19 year old brother and three cats in tow. I was extremely excited because in 11 hours I would be in Michigan and my boyfriend would be there to greet me!

My fairytale mindset continued through the weekend. My brother, boyfriend and I went to an Indie Alternative festival outside of Detroit, travelled to Ann Arbor for dinner and just relaxed.

THEN Monday hit. I drove my brother to the Detroit Airport and as I saw him walk into the terminal, I saw my last physical link to Connecticut disappear.

Originally, I was positive and knew that I would be okay. I now live in Michigan, with the man of my dreams, I have nothing to complain about.

Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen (if again, you're still with me) here are when my problems start. First world problems, of course, which clearly are the best kind.