Haters Gonna Hate

Moving to Michigan was a big leap.
I left everything and everyone I was comfortable around to move to a new state and establish my own independent roots. Being in charge of my own destiny enthralled me.


Few saw this as courageous, most thought I was stupid.
The amount of negative comments and sneers I received continues to be unimaginable.

Crazy to think, the majority of the displeasure was from a lot of people who love me "unconditionally," (pretty sure "moving" is considered a "condition" but whatever). Though, many acquaintances, family- friends and my peers disapproved as well.

Should we go through my list of grievances?

I think so.

"Shelby. What'd we talk about. Move anywhere but Michigan. Don't go to Michigan. You go there and 10 years down the line when you're driving a mini-van full of kids you'll be sorry."

"Michigan? What's in Michigan?"

"When I landed in Michigan, I couldn't wait to leave."

"Why are you going to Michigan... Let me guess... a boy? I thought you were smarter than that."

"Ew. You're living in Detroit." 

                    *just to clarify - I do not live IN Detroit.*
                    *and secondly, why you gotta hate on Detroit so much people (well I know why but still)*

"She's making a mistake. She's trying to run away from her problems."

"I don't know why she's going. Don't worry, things won't work out and she'll come running home."

"Your parents paid for a college degree for you to go off and get married?"

                      *no one said I was getting married*

And my personal fave:
"How long do you think your boyfriend will let you freeload until he kicks you out."

Hearing all of these negative comments was disheartening.
I was sure that I needed to make a change, I just never thought that my decision would create so much gossip and negativity.
I can't help but think if I were a man making the same move if there would be so much disapproval. But that's the 'all-woman's-college-graduate' in me speaking.

In all honesty, as a woman moving to a new place (with a man as a motivator but not the sole reason) I'm considered pathetic, submissive and dependent. I condemn those ignorant opinions.

My younger brother told me during our drive from Connecticut to Michigan that he was proud of me.

He said he thinks I am brave. 

A million nasty comments were aimed at me, while I heard all of them, the only remark I choose to listen to was said by my 19- year old brother.

"Experienced" adults criticized and mocked me for my decision. Bear in mind, none of them ever left the North East.
That, my friends, is enough to convince me- I did the right thing.


Truth is, I decided to make a drastic change. A change that not many people think about doing in their lives.
I always had a sense of wanderlust. I crave new experiences, new people and a new setting. I find it exhilarating!
Of course, at the beginning, it is hard. I have nothing here; no job, no friends of my own, but in time they will come. 

Clearly, in a perfect world, I would have had a job that brought me to Michigan. Life would've been better for everyone and their mother- and me. BUT life isn't perfect, and neither are peoples lives. 

In the end, it comes down to doing whatever makes me happy. At the end of the day, after watching every reality TV show, crazily pinning on Pinterest, sending out more applications and cooking some grub, I'm the one who has to look myself in the mirror and deal with my decisions. 

And you know what- I'm very happy with the choices I've made and where I am.

But finally: 

 Everyone knows it, but sometimes we all need a little reminder to forget the haters and move on with our own feats of happiness.